Cavalcade of Comedy, part 75

Written August 10th, 2009 by Jeff
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Let’s take a journey back in time.  Let’s try….oh, I don’t know….say, February 6th, 2008.

That was the day that Terrelle Pryor, 5-star QB from Jeanette High School in PA, announced that he was not going to sign a letter of intent for any school.  At a nationally televised press conference, Pryor made the decision to make no decisions.

He quickly announced that his selection would be among four schools, Ohio State, Penn State, Oregon and Michigan.  Before that day, it was believed that Pryor would end up a Wolverine, but there was no clear indication of any school becoming his new home.  But after Pryor’s announcement, Michigan’s chances were quickly fading.  Extra time meant bad things for the maize and blue, and having a new coach and a program in transition was not going to be viewed favorably with Pryor taking more time to investigate.

Pryor was supposed to be Michigan’s prize recruit and the QB that Rich Rodriquez needed.  Now, with the graduation of Chad Henne, the transfer of Ryan Mallett, and the sub-par skills of Steven Threet and Nick Sheridan, Michigan needed a quick QB for the new spread system.

They did a quick re-evaluation of their needs and grabbed the first QB they could find.  they needed speed and they didn’t care where or how they got it.

Two days later, Michigan blogs were celebrating their new recruit who had committed to Ann Arbor.

Justin Feagin.

Scout.com labeled him as a dual threat, and the rest of Michiganville began partying and mocking Terrelle Pryor.  One blog commented “who needs Pryor, we got Feagin!”.

Six weeks later, Pryor officially committed to play football at The Ohio State University;

Pryor would never amount to anything, and Feagin would develop into the best QB in the Big Ten, if you listened to Michigan fans.  The sycophants up north truly believed that.

Feagin spent most of his freshman year on the bench, and backing up his flailing team during garbage time (usually referred to as “the third quarter” when they played decent teams).  He saw some snaps at QB, some at WR, some on kick return.

But sure enough, he was the future of this team.  As soon as we can get into his sophomore year, he’ll take over the starting job and we’ll be back in the BCS!  That was the call of the Wolverine!  Thank God Threet is gone, now it’s Feagin’s turn!

Let’s play a little game of “where are they now”, shall we?

Terrelle Pryor was recently named as the pre-season Offensive Player Of The Year in the Big Ten.

Meanwhile, Justin Feagin was released from the team because he was trafficking cocaine from Florida. One of his drug deals went bad and he found himself on the receiving end of an angry client who tried to set fire to his apartment in retaliation.  Basically, Feagin took the guy’s money and didn’t deliver the coke.

Once again, we laugh at the Michigan football program.  They can’t seem to get anything right.

Rule #1, boys.  When your client pays you for coke, deliver the coke.  Otherwise, you’re not behaving like a Michigan Man.

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